They Blinded Me With Science – 1.28 – Regrets And Promises

Cal wasn’t back in the morning, but he did come in after school wearing the same clothes he had been wearing when he ran off. He told me he went to school, he was still nursing a headache, then he went to bed.

I didn’t get to go to his graduation since I was hardly able to leave the house anymore. I was grateful that Teri took some pictures and when she dropped them off, I spent a long time just running my finger around the edges.

I was glad Cal had gone to his graduation. I was sure it was more to do with pleasing Teri than it did his grades. He had graduated low in his class and apparently had been given the award ‘Most Likely To Fulfill His Lifetime Wish’. When I asked him what his lifetime dream was, he just shrugged and told me he wasn’t sure yet.

“I’d kinda like to learn more about painting,” he confessed. “Maybe pick up an instrument or something.”

“That sounds good,” I said, closing my eyes and nodding slowly. “Any plans for finding a job?”

“Oh jeez,” he grumbled. “I don’t know. Maybe in a while… I want some freedom before I start.”

“That sounds fine to me,” I told him. He left my room and I just lay back, closing my eyes and breathing heavily. I didn’t want to tell him that he would have to get a job very soon. Because I knew, from the indescribable pain in my stomach area, that I wasn’t going to be lasting much longer.

~

I didn’t tell my friends when I asked them to visit me, so I could say goodbye to them. I didn’t want them getting angry, or start crying. It was hard for me not to cry. It was the hardest saying goodbye to two certain people, the first being Katie.

Katie seemed pretty teary-eyed when I told her what a beautiful young woman she had become, and that I knew her mother would be proud. I told her she was a wonderful mother to her three beautiful kids and that I was so happy I got to be part of her life. She still sometimes blamed herself for her mother’s passing, so I reminded her again how much her mother had loved her and Katie’s decisions hadn’t been the reason.

“And Katie,” I added, taking her hand and holding it as firmly as I could. “Mallory and Doug are both amazing people, but you are so much like your mother. Strong, loving, passionate… Elouia wouldn’t have wanted you to live in grief.”

She was crying when she hugged me. I used up the rest of my strength for that day hugging her back. “Never forget that,” I whispered.

~

It was harder to say goodbye to Aiden. He had been one of my best friends, the first one I had met when I moved here. He had always been there for me.

I had the feeling he knew why I had called him over, though he didn’t mention it. When we said goodbye before he left, he gave me a peaceful smile. Then he left, and I was alone.

~

When Cal came home later that night, he crashed on the loveseat. I just stood over him, watching him sleep. He was a good man, when he wasn’t drinking. I had made so many mistakes but I knew I had done something right–the way he was with Teri, how he acted when he wasn’t angry.

But there were so many things I wished I could do over. Telling him everything when he was younger, disciplining him when he acted out.. but he hadn’t left me. Not on his birthday, nor on his graduation. I had made so many mistakes but at least I hadn’t turned him against me like my father had.

My father

I realized now that it was wrong of me to just abandon him and my mother. I couldn’t have stayed in Bridgeport, but I could at least have kept up contact with them. Attended their funerals. I wished I had the strength to go to Bridgeport to visit their graves, say goodbye to them. I disliked them both, but I knew it could have been a lot worse. My father did mistreat me, with verbal and mental abuse and very occasionally physical abuse… but maybe that was all he knew. I didn’t know anything about my grandparents, or how my father was raised.

I looked down at Cal’s sleeping face and reached down, brushing his loose bangs away from his face. I had told him when he was younger my dreams of a legacy. But whatever his plans were for the future, be it marriage and kids or a life by himself, I just wanted him to be happy and satisfied. I didn’t want him to have regrets like I did.

“Love you, Cal,” I whispered, bending down and kissing his forehead. He shifted and mumbled something and I backed away from him, giving him one last look before going to my own bed. I curled up and thought about everything that I had been through in Sunset Valley. The good, the bad, the easy, the hard. I thought about Aiden and Elouia. I thought about Nicky and the Reddings

But most of all I thought about Cal, and realized there was one more thing I could give him. My scrapbook–full of my life and memories, full of everything I knew about the Reddings. I closed my eyes and started drifting off to sleep. I would add just this one last entry, and then put it away. My story was over, and whatever will be, will be.

~Calcifer~

It was pretty late in the morning when I woke up. I rubbed my head, ignoring the throbbing pain that was becoming too much apart of me. I glanced down at the doll by my feet. Penny was sulking, like always. She hated when I got drunk. Be that way, I thought, stepping over her to get dressed. Her doll eyes stared glassily at me as I changed. I stuck my tongue out at her then stepped over her again, going out into our front room.

My father was bending over a box, packing something away. I watched him for a moment then slowly said, “Glad to see you’re feeling better.” I hated to see him down on the floor like that.

He looked up at me and gave me a small smile. “Yeah, told you all I needed was some rest.”

I ran my fingers through my hair and the fiery strands rested back over my right eye. I watched my father through this half-curtain and he finally got up, putting all his weight on his cane.

“I’m going out,” I said, waiting for some sort of reaction. He merely smiled and nodded. I sucked in some air and tried not to get mad. I loved my dad, but he really drove me insane sometimes with his complacency. He rarely got mad at me and even when he did, he never followed through. I knew why. I knew exactly why, and it was what made me so damned ANGRY all the time!

I walked out of the house, sticking my hands deep into my pockets and hunching my shoulders over. It was because of me his body was like that. I deserved punishment. But he never gave it to me, he never hated me, he never said anything mean to me. Even though I deserved it.

I spent the day feeling angry at myself at the park, then decided to hit the bar as soon as it opened. Truth be told, I hated drinking. It just helped me forget about everything. That I was a monster. I sat at the bar and watched everyone around me. There weren’t many people there yet, and those that were I knew were like me. People wanting to forget their problems, drown their sorrows in the bitter poison.

I wondered what brought them here. Problem marriages? Pink slips at work? It burned me that not one of them could even imagine the problems I was trying to forget. I bet it never even crossed their minds that they were sitting so close to a bona fide monster. Just like they watched on the silver screen. Made in a lab by crazy scientists. I was just a bit different than the ones in the movies. I had been made as a baby, and I was still waiting for the craziness inside of me to be unleashed. That’s how it always went. Screams of terror, the military shooting down the creature, then someone standing over my dead body saying how wrong it was for people to play Watcher.

My phone chirruped and I glared down at my pocket. It was the ringtone that played whenever an unknown number called me. I considered not answering but when it persisted, I finally flipped my phone open and grumbled out a greeting.

It was the hospital. Apparently, my father had called them and they had taken him in. They told me that I needed to get down there right away because they figured he didn’t have much time left at all.

Part of me hoped they were just blowing smoke since after all, they never were able to help him before. But considering how my dad had been acting, I was worried that they were telling the truth. I quickly paid my small bill and took off running, not stopping till I got to the hospital. I was told where he was and my feet clattered along the floor until I got to his door.

I hesitated, my hand on the knob. Suddenly everything felt different. I didn’t want to go in. I was terrified at what might be waiting for me on the other side. If he might already be…

But no. When I went inside, he was sleeping. I stood at the end of his bed, just watching him. His face was twisted slightly, as if he were having a bad dream. I wrung my hands and tiptoed over closer to him, not wanting to disturb him. As if he had a sixth sense, he woke up as soon as I got close.

“Hey Cal,” he said, his voice raspy and weak.

I just stood there, staring at him. Finally I laughed and rubbed the back of my head, trying not to look as scared as I felt. “Hey Dad. Lemme guess, you feel fine?” I rolled my eyes, hoping he would tell me one more lie.

“No,” he croaked out. “I don’t feel well at all. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize!” I snapped, backing up until I reached the chair. I angrily sat down and just glared at him. He looked so pale and so frail that it almost looked like he had already started making the transition into the other world. Tears began dripping down my cheeks as he continued smiling at me. How could he give me that look? It was because of me he was like this. All my fault.

“Calcifer, I need to talk to you before…” He trailed off and then shuddered slightly. “Before I go.”

He was quiet for a minute and I was about to ask him what it was, but then he started speaking. “I kept a memory book,” he said. “Everything is there. It won’t hold all the answers, but I’m sure it will help some of your questions.” His body shuddered again and he began smiling again. “I’m sorry I kept things from you.”

“No,” I half-snapped. I wanted to yell at him, to demand he stop acting so cheerful about this. “You, uh, did what you, um, thought was right.”

“It was wrong,” he whispered, shifting his body a bit. “I hope I was a good father. It’s what I always wanted to be, you know. A father. A husband and a father…” He slowly reached up, pressing his fingertips lightly against his temples. “My dream from when I was younger than you. A big family. A legacy.”

“Well you know, it’s not as if you lost it!” I snapped. “You have me. I can, you know, get married and pop out some kids.”

“No!” he said, sitting up slightly. “Don’t you dare change things because you think it’s what I want!” He stared at me then his strength gave out and he lay back down. “I want you to live your life, Cal. I want you to do what you want, not what I wanted with my own life. Those were my dreams. You have your own.” He gave me a pleading look and I reached over, taking his hand.

“Dad…”

“Promise me you’ll fulfill your own dreams.”

I closed my eyes and held onto his hand tightly. “I promise I will do what I want,” I said, saying my words carefully.

Dad nodded and then his eyes widened. “Love you, Cal.”

I knew what was happening as he slowly slid out of bed, standing up by his bed, looking stronger than he had in a long time. I wanted to scream for a nurse to stop this. NO!

I began sobbing, my body shaking violently from grief and despair. I wasn’t ready to lose him, not now!! I wanted to make up for everything I had put him through. I had been a horrible teenager, and now he was leaving. I wasn’t ready for this.

I watched as the Grim Reaper came in and then my father departed from this world. I began wailing, unable to stop the sounds escaping from my mouth. The nurses and doctors came running and when they saw the little grave surrounded by smoke, they knew what had happened. I just fell against the bed, feeling guiltier than ever.

I had done so much wrong, and I wouldn’t be able to make it up to him. But worst of all was the fact that it was because of his dream of having me that he had died so young. I had killed him. I couldn’t stay in Sunset Valley anymore.

~

After Dad’s funeral, I had left the Valley. How long had it been? A year? Two years? I couldn’t remember. It was all a drunken blur. I wanted to escape from everything. All the bad memories, all the hate. I traveled here and there, staying in little inns in the country. Getting drunk. Trying to forget everything. Trying to forget who I was, what I had done.

But I couldn’t forget it anymore. I had gotten really smashed one night and when I woke up, I had done the one thing I had wanted for years: I forgot who I was.

When my memory came back, all the pain came and I couldn’t take it anymore. I realized running away from everything wouldn’t do anything and I needed to come back.

Now here I was. Back in Sunset Valley. The place I had been trying so hard to forget, the place I knew I belonged.

This is where it all started, I thought as I went into the darkened house. It had been a couple years since I had stepped foot in this ten-by-ten shack. Looking around as an adult I couldn’t believe my father lived here, worked here, and even raised me here…

~

“Hey Dad,” I whispered, looking down at the little grave. I wrapped my arms around myself, shivering. It was nighttime and the graveyard seemed so spooky, but I hadn’t wanted to come here with the blazing sun pointing me out to everyone.

“I’m back,” I said, staring down at his name. “I guess I was stupid, huh? I’m sorry I left. I just couldn’t stay here. I thought everyone might remember your… your pregnancy… and start accusing me.” I wiped a tear away. “I had to forget. And I did, Dad. I’m sorry. I forgot. But I’m back, and I intend on staying. I remember everything you told me that night you died. Remember?”

I glanced up at the stars overhead and this time I didn’t wipe away the tear. “I read your scrapbook, Dad. I can’t believe everything you went through. I didn’t help things… you had so much patience with me… I was so stupid!”

“But I’ve changed. I don’t want to get drunk anymore. Not after I forgot everything. I can’t forget who I am. I can’t forget what you went through.” I knelt down, ignoring the grass and mud stains rubbing off onto my trousers. “I know you told me to do what I wanted. I will, Dad. But what I want is to give you your dream. Your family. Your legacy. I do want this, Dad. I guess… I never really had much of a dream before. I still want to play the guitar and paint and stuff, but I also want to give you yours.”

I touched his gravestone then slowly stood up. “I took so much away from you. I want to give it all back. But there’s something else, Dad. I know you won’t like it. But after reading everything you wrote, it’s something I want. I want as much as learning skills and having a family. It’s more than a dream, really. It’s a promise. To you, and to me. Please forgive me for this, Dad.”

“But I promise that no matter what, no matter how long it takes me, no matter how difficult it is for me to find them… for all their lies and using you, and the pain they caused you, and then abandoning you to let you die from what they did to you…” I looked up, my fingers curling into fists, my eyes narrowing.

“I swear I will get revenge on the Reddings.”

Advertisements

About sErindeppity

Hi there! I'm known as sErindeppity. I love to read (huzzah!) and love to write (double huzzah!). I have tons of books in my room ahaha. I love video games and hate hot weather. :p
This entry was posted in Danevbie Generation One - They Blinded Me With Science. Bookmark the permalink.

41 Responses to They Blinded Me With Science – 1.28 – Regrets And Promises

  1. darklai5544 says:

    Ahhhhh Jacob!!!! TT_TT
    And Cal I just wanna smoosh him into a hug!!
    He’s gunna make his poppa proud!

  2. inspiritsgolden says:

    oh man. I can’t wait to see Calcifer trying to find them and hunting them down…

    but Jacob T____T…

  3. zbornie says:

    !!!!!!!!!

    😦 😦 😦 😦

    I don’t even know where to start. Jacob dying…OMG. *cries*

    You are such an amazing writer. The way you just brought it full circle back to the prologue was wonderful! And I was totally gobsmacked by the revenge on the Reddings thing but it FITS so well with Cal!

    Amazing, amazing chapter.

  4. Hevalou says:

    Oh heck. the moment I had been dreading..poor Jacob 😦 but you told it so well, I had tears. lets hope Cal is half the man his pops was…looks like he has promise!!

    Smashing updates…thank you πŸ™‚

  5. sleazysuperstar says:

    I don’t know how many times I cried during this generation, especially during this chapter. Until this chapter did I really remember the prologue, and I didn’t want Jacob to die.

    You told this story so beautifully! I didn’t want it to end!

  6. Amazing chapter!
    It’s so sad Jacob had to die being in all this pain, feeling so guilty. I’m glad that Cal had such a big change of heart though, and has finally figured out what he wants to do with his life. Maybe he’ll find the Reddings, and maybe they’ll help him turn Penny real?

  7. Jacob’s death πŸ˜₯ So sad. And I wonder if Cal will get any answers if he hunts down the Reddings.

    This legacy is so good. Your such a talented writer.

    • sErindeppity says:

      I was crying, I missed Jacob right away. He was all kinds of amazing (And I just realized I will have to go through it again O.O I have an alternate universe legacy about him. And one day… he will… again…. T_T)
      And aw ^\\\^ thanks, that means a lot ❀

  8. Thindra says:

    ;_; *cries my eyes out* Plumbob that was a sad chapter.
    I found your legacy yesterday and I just can’t stop reading.

  9. Brina says:

    So im catching up on this story and omg it is a amazing. I love cal but sometimes i wanted to slap him. Of course he didn’t know the truth about things, at least from Jake’s perspective. Reading your story so far has inspired me to keep going with my legacy. *runs off to continue reading your legacy*

  10. FruHurricane says:

    Jake! 😦 Noooo!

    I’m glad Cal finally could forgive his father, but I’m not sure if revenge is the way to go. I look forward to get started on his generation.

  11. zefiewings says:

    soo sleepy it’s hard to type. But i had to finish this chapter. I love it. I only have one regret, why couldn’t we see her face? Did you plan to do something with it then never get the chance? Whyyyyyyy?
    I need to sleep now. Badly. But I will be back for gen two.

    • sErindeppity says:

      I will reply to all your comments tomorrow when I wake up but just want to say one, thank you so much for reading and commenting it really makes me so happy ^^ I’m glad you’ve been enjoying it and I hope you continue to enjoy it.
      Two: as for Nicky, I’m sorry I never showed her face!!! I would show her… but during gen three a lot of bad stuff happened with my sims and I lost everything except the sims I had put up on the exchange so I had to start over essentially using them… and that meant losing Nicky. She was a normal looking person though. I never showed her face because she was supposed to be that “faceless/nameless evil entity” type thing. She was just a girl looking for a good, easy relationship that required little effort on her part; she was selfish… and didn’t care about lying to Jacob. She never really loved him, I suppose you could say.

      (again, thank you so much for reading!!! ❀ )

  12. amandralynn says:

    Ahhhh!!! Yes! *pumps fist* I finally got to the end of generation one. This story is totally addicting. I love Jacob, and am so sad to see him die, even though I knew it would happen eventually. RIP Jacob!!!!

    • sErindeppity says:

      Congrats! I really appreciate you taking the time to read through all this, I know it’s a lot. I need to get back to yours. I have so little time… I feel awful for that but I will get to it hopefully soon!!
      And yeah it was so sad seeing Jacob go 😦

  13. evilmaniac88 says:

    Hi, I just wanted to say that I really love your legacy and I’m so sad that Jacob died πŸ˜₯ but I’m glad that Cal (kind of ) gets his act together! I’ve read through this in a couple of days ( I think), and your writing is so fantastic πŸ™‚ I’m also sorry for liking all your posts – that must have been so annoying getting the notifications – I got a bit carried away…. xD

    • sErindeppity says:

      Ahhh!! <3! Thank you so much for reading and liking everything! It is sad Jacob died. :\ but yes Cal at least gets his act a bit together. And no!! It was NOT annoying at all! Every time I saw I had a new notification I just sorta squealed like a giddy school girl. Notifications never annoy me, they make me so happy ❀ again thank you so much for reading, I hope you continue to enjoy the legacy! ^_^

  14. Awww. That’s so ad t

    • doh, didn’t realize I hit enter. I had CAW blinking at me on the other monitor and though I was doing something in that screen. Now where was I? Oh yes, so sad that Jacob couldn’t even go to Cal’s graduation 😦 I’m guessing the end is nigh…

      (continued from last night)
      Fare thee well, Jacob 😦 I’m glad Cal got it out of his system and came back, maybe he can be…better. Though, wow, revenge on the Reddings. Generation 2 promises to be interesting.

      • sErindeppity says:

        Heehee! It’s okay~ that sort of thing happens to me too.
        Jacob really wanted to go but alas ;-; the end is had indeed come for poor Jacob T_____T (at least he’s happy and stuff in Dannings!).

  15. Uhh ohh, the Reddings had better watch out though I’ll be mad at Cal is he smooshes Kay’s pretty face :p

    So sad to see Jacob gone and perhaps even more sad that it took that for Cal to start to see himself how his Dad did. They could have had so much happiness but I guess that how life hoes sometimes. Look forward to reading Cal’s generation and how he you our his dad and also his own vendetta.

    Great writing as per usual xx

    • sErindeppity says:

      Bwahahaha don’t worry, Kay will be safe from Cal’s anger. πŸ˜‰
      I miss Jacob, and wish things had been patched up before. That’s why I like writing Dannings–it gives the two of them a chance to bond in ways they never got in Danevbies.
      Thank you so much hun!! Coming from you that means so much!

  16. Whoa, I love that last line! LOL. I had a sneaking suspicion Cal was irritated with Jacob always letting him get away with stuff. It’s too bad that Cal never really got to tell Jacob all that stuff while he was alive. It’s good at least, that Cal got to talk to his dad a little before he died. Now I’m done reading generation one! πŸ˜€ It’s definitely been a fun ride, and I’m excited to see what Cal does now as an adult, especially how he wants to get revenge on the Reddings. o.O

  17. Lila Remonn says:

    Wow! Great first generation. I’m going off to read the next ones, and I’m only going to like the last ones of each and comment on them. Because if I like all of them I’ll probably make your computer explode with the spam or something! Your story is really interesting to read so far, and although the male pregnancy thing was weird at first I couldn’t stop reading! Now onto Genration Two πŸ™‚

  18. Always to Aiden says:

    T.T He was most likely to have a large family.
    I still wish i knew what happened to the friend he got the sleeping bag from.
    But it doesn’t matter because I trust Aiden.
    RIP Jacob.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s