The words rang in my ears and I wasn’t sure if I had heard right. I stared at Jay, my eyes getting bigger and bigger. I staggered back slightly and then finally found my voice again. “You… what…?”
Kay was standing up nervously as Jay sighed. “It isn’t what you think.”
“You ARE a cold-blooded murderer!” I shrieked.
“I just said it is not what you think!” she replied haughtily. “We did not kill them, they were dying on their own. I doubt you will believe it, but it is true. Everyone we have used this with were dying. It was their choice.”
I turned away, rubbing my forehead, trying to comprehend this. “And Penny? Who was she? What was her real name?”
“I cannot tell you,” Jay said. “I cannot give you any information about who they used to be, but they are better off now. They are still living.”
I couldn’t say anything. I disagreed with what she said. Technically, how could they still be living if they didn’t have any memory or any clue of who they used to be? Was Penny’s personality different? If she remembered who she really was, would she still love me? What if she was married before, with other kids, a different husband…
“L-look,” Kay said, stepping sort of between us. “The dolls are in th-the past.” He looked at me, brow furrowing deeply. “I know you probably d-don’t believe us but we n-never killed anyone… n-not for the dolls. I don’t l-like the fact we did what we did at all–“
“Excuse me?” Jay snapped, looking quite mad.
Kay flinched. “C-Calcifer has a point, sister! We have been acting l-like Frankenstein!”
“So creating life is wrong?” she snarled. “Giving life is suddenly a bad thing? You and your wife did, should we look down on you for that?”
I hesitated, not sure if I should plunge on. Finally I did. “How many of your attempted dolls actually worked? How many failed? How many souls are now gone?”
“Experiments fail!” she hissed out, looking madder. “The people who agreed to be used knew this, they accepted the risk. Science has its risks, Mr. Danevbie! That is what experimenting is about, looking for answers and yes–failing on the way. But I will not give up when I try something, I will keep going. If I did not do that, you would not be here. If I had given up for the first few male pregnancy attempts, then we never would have gotten to your father–and you.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, unable to reply to that. She did have a point, as much as I disagreed with it. Still, I could not shake the feeling she was lying about something. She had been the reason my father died, and those other pregnant men–but had she been the cause of death for the dolls? I wanted to keep pressing her about it but doubted she’d give me a truthful answer.
“Do you agree with that?” I asked Kay, ignoring the annoyed look Jay now had. “Basically she’s talking about the ends justifying the means, do you agree with that, Kay? I struggled with it once. I considered stealing something to get my way but ultimately I didn’t. There are times that that saying most definitely does not ring true. So do you agree?”
Kay looked frightened and he lifted his hands to his mouth, chewing at his nails. He glanced at Jay who now had her arms folded. “There have been victims,” she said heavily. “In the search of better ways. All the medical advancements? Are you saying that those who died trying to find a way to perform surgery shouldn’t have done it? That being able to replace organs so someone can live should never have been explored?”
“I’m asking your brother, not you!” I growled.
Kay looked down and his shoulders slumped. “M-my sister has a p-point…”
“M-medical and s-scientific advancements can be for the better,” he continued, turning to me and meeting my eyes. “There are s-some things that should not be done, that is true. There are s-some things we’ve done th-that I regret–“
“What?” Jay asked.
“There are s-some things we’ve done that w-we shouldn’t have done!” he continued, ignoring his sister. “But there are some things that I d-do not regret. Like you.” He looked into my eyes and then was suddenly overcome and had to look away. “I am s-sorry that J-Jacob went through wh-what he went through, I do regret that. B-but I think your father w-would agree that it w-was something that he–and I–would do again.”
I put my hand against my mouth, the emotion pounding me hard. I knew he was right. If my father was told exactly what would happen in his life, he would have still signed that contract.
“Are you quite done?” Jay suddenly snapped. “I’ve been up all night, I am very tired. You have asked us several things, and I am ready to leave.”
“No,” I sniffled, wiping my eyes. “There are a couple more things I need to know.”
“Ugh!” She folded her arms once more and her whole body tightened as she glared at me. “Fine. Ask them so we can leave.”
“Everything you’ve done, not all of them are for finding aliens,” I said carefully. “So why do them? Is it really just to see if you could?”
“Everything I do brings me a step closer, even indirectly,” she sneered at me. “Creating things–creating life–has really made me see what I can do. I want more. I want to be able to do anything I want to do. I will, I can.” She pressed her hands against her chest. “Aliens can do so much. They can do anything! I am becoming more like them. Creating life. Exploring scientific routes never before explored. Experimenting. Everything I do brings me closer to them, even if it’s not a direct path. The abilities I learn makes me more like them. Every single thing I do, every single thing I learn. Soon I will transcend above being a mere human!”
“You are crazy!” I said as soon as there was a pause in her speech. “And there is nothing wrong with being human!”
“There is everything wrong!” she replied. “I am already better than everyone else on this planet. I have done more than anyone can imagine. The only one who can come close is my brother, and as soon as he accepts his future, he will also be above everyone.” She reached over and grabbed Kay’s arm. “He finally accepted a longer life.”
“Why did you do that?” I cut in. “If you’ve never agreed before, why the sudden change of heart? Because of me?”
“He’s always been a bit too soft,” Jay answered.
Kay gave me a rather sad look. “You deserved your answers,” he whispered. “And… I–I can’t j-just leave my sister. Sh-she needs me, as m-much as I need her. She’s m-my twin. We’ve been through s-so much and I can’t just abandon her.”
“You are right,” I said, lifting my chin. “She should have someone a bit more sane than her around. Maybe your sanity will rub off on her.”
“I am not insane!” Jay screeched. “I have a vision of a better world! A better future! Soon this pathetic world will have so much more, thanks to me! Everyone will look to me and thank me for what I have done! They will worship me!”
“YOU ARE CRAZY!” The words burst out like lava, I couldn’t stop them. “Can’t you SEE that? Worship you? Who do you think you are, the Watcher?”
“I told you not to yell at me,” she said, her words like ice. “I am leaving.”
“No!” I shouted. “No, one more thing–just one! I need to know.”
She stopped, her back still to me. Slowly she turned and glowered. “One question,” she sighed. “Last one. Then I am leaving.”
“You said we are linked together.” I was speaking slowly, making sure to keep calm and get out what needed to get out. “This is one thing I need to know. I deserve to know. None of that ‘I cannot tell’.”
“Yes?” she groaned, rolling her eyes, obviously bored. “What?”
“My mother,” I said. “Who is my mother?”
“Jacob Danevbie,” she replied without even a second of hesitation. “Are you that stupid?”
“No!” I said impatiently. “He is my father, I want to know who my mother is. It’s you, isn’t it? You’re my… mother. That is the link you mean?”
“Thankfully not,” she growled. “Jacob Danevbie was your mother. He was the one who was pregnant with you. He carried you in his womb for nine months. He gave birth to you. That sounds like a mother to me, does it not to you?”
“He was my male parent!” I said, exasperated now. “I want to know who my mother is! If it wasn’t you, then who? Another scientist? Who was the female donor?”
Jay slowly began smirking and I didn’t like that. “Female donor?” she asked, raising her eyebrows high. “Mr. Danevbie, don’t you understand? We were doing what the aliens did so many years ago.”
“Wh-what do you mean?” I whispered. I had a bad feeling about this.
“From everything I learned about the aliens, they… did things differently when they abducted humans. They used pollination technicians. And these were almost always male.”
My hand was against my mouth again as her words sunk into my mind. No… I thought, feeling like I was going to throw up. “My… other donor…”
“A male,” she replied, smirking even more. “Both your parents are male, Mr. Danevbie.”
“That is… not…” The words couldn’t be said, I couldn’t say them. I was too shocked. “This… this… you…” I gulped slightly. “My other… parent? Both my parents were…?”
“Male,” she said simply. “We had to do it like the aliens did. The other male pregnancies were different, they had the more traditional male and female. But yours was the first from two males.”
“And who is he?” I whispered hoarsely, though I knew. I knew who it was already but it had to be said, it had to be confirmed.
“Perhaps it is why he has soft feelings for you,” Jay sighed and her hand flourished towards her brother. I stared wide-eyed at Kay who began rubbing the back of his head nervously.
“I am y-your f-father,” he stammered out.