Break These Chains – 4.23 – Trudging Through

I couldn’t get enough of the baby, never feeling happy when I had to put him down for bed or anything. Doug kept laughing, making little comments about how natural I looked with a baby and how good it was that I was to be the one to stay at home.

Sometimes it annoyed me, those comments, but I let them roll off because I adored our son, whom we named Duncan.

It wasn’t my first choice since it sounded kinda weird with my last name. As we were not married yet, I wanted to choose a name that could go with either last name. But Doug insisted on Duncan and I gave in, not wanting to argue with him. Plus Duncan did have his last name, right now.

And besides, if… no. When. When we got married (if…) I’d probably take his name. Sebastian McIntyre. Douglas, Sebastian, and Duncan McIntyre. If it ever happened. No, when it happens. He’ll ask me, someday. He loves me.

It was my turn to spam inboxes with picture texts of my baby. It seemed like every other day one of us would get a picture or two sent of one of the babies. When Duncan was about two weeks old, I was able to take him to Mom and Dad’s at the same time Zari brought Melody and Vi brought Sawyer. Of course Mom got a picture of all six of us.

Vi dropped off a copy of the pic, I was texted one day from Hal. You all look great.

I replied back that hopefully soon I’d be able to bring Duncan by his place. I wanted to add that I missed him, but didn’t dare put that in. It seemed wrong, somehow. I was allowed to miss my best friend, though. There was nothing wrong with that…

*

“Doug? Hey–Doug, Duncan is crying…” I rolled over and shook Doug gently. He made a moany sound and yanked the blankets over his head. “Doug, c’mon, it’s your turn…”

“Go do it yourself,” he mumbled.

“But it’s your turn…” I said slowly. “We agreed to take turns.”

He sat up, the blanket falling away, his hair sticking to his face. Even in the darkness, I could see the glitter of his eyes. I knew at once that I was in trouble. “You take care of the baby, Sebastian, it’s your job. I have to go to work in the morning. Goodnight.”

I stared as he curled back up but got out of the bed, feeling dizzy. “You have another week of leave,” I said, tiptoeing to the door.

“I asked to go back in early,” he replied from under the blanket. “Now go take care of Duncan. I’m trying to sleep.”

I quietly shut the door behind me and tiptoed to the nursery, too tired to argue or question why he hadn’t mentioned this before now.

*

Summer went by in a blur. I practically never left the house, pretty much always busy taking care of Duncan or cleaning the house since he hated it when the place got messy, and we lived in such a tiny place that it got messy pretty quickly.

It wasn’t until August, our twenty-fifth birthday, when I realized that I hadn’t seen Vi or Zari in a couple months. I hadn’t seen my parents. I hadn’t seen Hal. I didn’t even have much time to talk to them and had a lot of messages from all of them, a lot of them sounding rather worried but I kept trying to assure them everything was fine. Because everything was fine. A newborn baby made everything hectic and busy.

“Come on, Duncan,” I whispered late one night as I tried to get him to eat. He just cried and shoved the bottle away. “I know you’re hungry…” Sighing, I held him close as I warmed up some more milk, his squalls right in my ear. Please don’t wake Doug up… I rubbed Duncan’s back, glancing at the hall.

During the day Doug seemed very pleasant but at night, whenever he was awoken by the baby, he’d get seriously grouchy. Always blaming me, he’d yell for a bit then go back under the blanket, complaining until I left.

Thankfully, it was me he yelled at when he did lose his temper and never Duncan. He was always so loving with the baby, cuddling him, cooing over him, always saying stuff about how cute he was. It was really sweet to see them together.

And really, I couldn’t blame him too much for losing his temper at night. He worked hard during the day and needed his sleep.

*

When Duncan hit the half-year mark, I started getting suspicious of something… I sometimes just gazed at Doug, not daring to ask him about it. Especially since he was sleeping at more and night and hadn’t lost his temper in a couple weeks. It was wonderful, almost like those first months together living here.

Except that there was something on my mind and I didn’t know what to do. Try to find out if my suspicions were right? Ignore that nagging feeling? Did it even matter?

Finally I caved in and did some research. It didn’t take long to get my answer. I cried for a while, but finally just brushed it aside. What did it matter? It didn’t change anything, except–well, the past was in the past. Mistakes, lies, deception… it didn’t matter anymore. All that mattered was the here and now, and the future.

Doug was trying to change, and he loved me, and he loved Duncan. So what did the past matter?

*

When Duncan was nine months old, Doug expressed interest in a second child. Stupidly, I asked, “Are you going to get pregnant again, then?”

His eyes narrowed. “Me? No! Why should I? It’s your job now. Unless you think you’re too good for it.”

“Nonono!” I said quickly, trying to soothe his temper. “I was just c-curious.”

He glared at me for a second, then his expression softened. “I know, I’m sorry sweetie.” He reached over and without thinking, I flinched back. I didn’t mean it, and wished I hadn’t done it. The soft look once again hardened. “What’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” I said, scooting a little closer to show I wasn’t afraid of him or his touch.

“You flinched. What, did you expect me to hit you?” His voice grew angrier and he stood up, towering over me.

“No, of course not,” I whispered, wishing he’d calm down again. Too late.

“You are such a little liar, Sebastian,” he growled. “WELL! If you expect it then maybe I should!” And then his hand lashed out, striking my face. I whimpered in pain, putting my hand against the now-sore spot.

“I’m s-sorry! I didn’t–I wasn’t–” The words just fumbled in my mouth and I rather hoped that Duncan would wake up from his nap and start crying, to give me an excuse to leave before I dug myself into an even deeper hole. Doug just watched me, waiting. “I d-didn’t expect… I didn’t mean…” I sucked in some air and closed my eyes. “I’m sorry…”

“Hmph.” I heard him walked away and I opened my eyes again. He was near the door, his eyes still glittering at me. “I’ll make an appointment at the hospital for next month. Sound good to you?”

“Yes,” I said, as there was no other answer. He slammed the door shut and then I heard him slam the outside door shut. That woke Duncan up and he started crying out. I hurried to his crib, glad he was too young to pay attention to the mark on my face.

*

I missed Sawyer’s birthday, though Vi and Claude sent some pictures of my nephew. He was so cute… I really wished I could have made it.  I was hoping to be able to make it to Melody’s birthday party in March. I had the sinking feeling that I wouldn’t, though.

Is this really how my life has turned out? I wondered a couple days after the missed party, as I scrubbed down the kitchen counters. I stared at the rag, then stared at my hands. What have I done?

There was obviously something wrong if I was constantly feeling bad about missing out on spending time with my own family and friends. I hadn’t even spent the holidays with them, since Doug had wanted to take a trip. I had agreed. Why had I done that?

Because I love him, I realized unhappily, as I began scrubbing the counters again. I loved Doug in a way I couldn’t explain to anyone else. I needed him. He doesn’t need me, though. I began scrubbing even harder at that thought. No, Doug didn’t need me. He wanted me. There was a difference. Did Doug even love me…?

STOP! I commanded myself. Stop thinking that! It didn’t matter. I loved him, and we were a family albeit a strange one. Whether Doug loved me or not, he wanted me and had some sort of feelings for me. I had to be satisfied with that.

*

“WAAAAAAAAAAAH!” Duncan’s cry was shrill, hurting my head. I rubbed his back and rocked him gently, trying to get him to calm down. He just kept squalling, his fists flailing in the air to indicate some sort of injustice.

I paced around the bedroom, bouncing him gently. He had been like this for longer than what seemed normal and I was tempted to call someone. Mom, perhaps. Though I didn’t. Doug wasn’t home and I was worried what he’d say if he came home to find someone here with me, even if it was my own mother. He felt like having family come in to help was just proof he couldn’t take care of me or the baby. Ridiculous, but whatever.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Duncan’s cries turned to sniffles. I kissed his forehead and then put him into his crib. “Everything will be okay, baby,” I said, putting my hand on his cheek gently. He gurgled up at me for a moment then finally fell asleep.

I returned to my bed, curling up and staring at the clock. Two-fifty-three in the morning. Doug had been gone for quite a while. Thirty-one hours… with no word.

I rolled onto my back, putting my hands gently on my stomach. It was three weeks after my appointment in the hospital. I was officially pregnant. Doug had been so happy and excited, and his tantrums had completely stopped for the three weeks. Which is why him just running off was so strange.

I was concerned about him being gone so long. I had tried texting him but got no response. Phone calls went straight to voicemail. If he’s still gone in the morning, I thought as I wrapped the blanket tightly around me, I’ll inform the police.

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About sErindeppity

Hi there! I'm known as sErindeppity. I love to read (huzzah!) and love to write (double huzzah!). I have tons of books in my room ahaha. I love video games and hate hot weather. :p
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49 Responses to Break These Chains – 4.23 – Trudging Through

  1. Cereline says:

    Hmm did his wound on his face change because it was diffrent ones over time? But anyway what a jerk-face D:<! I hope Sebastian leaves…and soon…. But great chapter! I find myself anticipating these all the time lol.

  2. sweetribz says:

    Oh Sebastion.. just run…….

    What did he research? What did he find out? I must know…

  3. What did he research? It’s parts like this hat leave me just dying for another chapter. Great job, as always!

  4. Jazen says:

    No, no no no no. He got pregnant. He is just digging himself in deeper. Doug is abusive and mean and treating Seb like a servant a possession. He doesn’t love Seb he just owns him and that is something totally different. Seb knows something is off, he’s starting to realize a little but not enough.

    This is so sad. He needs to get away!

    What did he find out? Is it bad to hope Doug doesn’t come back. That something really terrible has happened to him and he is out of the picture FOREVER!!!! I don’t think we’ll be that lucky but I sure hope so.

    I never thought I would say this but we need Jay. She needs to take Doug and run some sort of painful experiments on him.

    • sErindeppity says:

      Jay will be around soon. Shortly into the 30s. :3
      Doug is very possessive and just wants to keep Seb under lock and key. 😦
      What Seb discovered will be revealed soon. :3 And Seb is getting closer to some happiness, I promise that too.

  5. Sebastian run away. Run to Hal! Or find Pons, she’ll keep you safe until then. (Mind you Amethyst would have to watch the baby with ya since Pons isn’t good with little ones.)

    • sErindeppity says:

      Wahahahahaha I can just imagine Sebastian and Duncan living with Pons and Amethyst. xD That would be so much fun.

      • :O NOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PONS WOULD DROP THE BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DX

      • sErindeppity says:

        Hahaha I can see her holding him up and giving him this “WTF” look. ❤ Gotta love Pons xD

      • Ducan + Pons = dead baby and only slightly guilty-looking Pons. Not good. DX

        I have to say, Pons is just pretty much my favorite character from anything ever. I swear, I got really close to peeing myself when she was all like, “HEY, YOU! HEY, YOU WITH THE FACE!”

        XD

      • sErindeppity says:

        I agree completely. Pons is brilliant. xD She never fails to make me laugh. She’s probably one of my favorites, too ❤

      • The only character from anything ever that she’s not better than is Augustus Waters from The Fault in Our Stars. :3 If you haven’t read the book, it’s FANTASTIC. It’s about two teens who meet in a cancer support group, and it doesn’t take a genius to predict that one of them will die. DX I never cry EVER while watching movies or T.V. shows or while reading books, but this book made me sob for literal HOURS. It’s by far the most tragic anything anyone’s ever created. 😥

      • thelizzy1990 says:

        OMG, The Fault in Our Stars is the second-best book in existence (the first is Harry Potter & the Prisoner of Azkaban)! Augustus is just amazing. I have a cork board on my bedroom wall, covered in his quotes. “I’m a big believer in metaphors, Hazel Grace.” *dreamy sigh*

        I just love John Green. ❤

      • AHH THE WORLD’S MOST TRAGIC BOOK I AM NOT THE ONLY FAN! EEP! I HAVE AN AUTOGRAPHED COPY!

        Just wondering, but have you tried to make Sims of the characters yet? I find it impossible to make a Sim that is good-looking and generally awesome enough to justify Augustus. Darnit, why couldn’t Hazel have died instead? *cries*

      • sErindeppity says:

        o: well guys, looks like I’ll be seeing if I can get a copy to read. And cry, it looks like. Then blame the two of you for crying. xD

      • thelizzy1990 says:

        rainbow: No, I haven’t made sim versions yet, but I’ll give it a shot when my game starts working again. I have a signed copy as well (red sharpie).

        sErin: Sorry for bombarding your comments, but you’ll thank us later. =D

      • Cool. 🙂 I will be downloading and making some of my own. I have one specific Sim dress in mind for the sundress that Hazel wears to Oranjee. My copy is signed in purple marker with a drawing in blue marker of a fish.

      • sErindeppity says:

        Lol it is fine, I don’t mind a bombardment of comments x3

      • thelizzy1990 says:

        Lucky you. I was hoping to get a Hanklerfish, or a Yeti. Which reminds me, are you a Nerdfighter?

        By the way, I added you as a friend on the sims site. I hope that’s okay? I’m 1990_Lizzy over there.

  6. ATMzie says:

    Seb needs to grab Duncan and run!

  7. I hope Doug never comes back! He might aswell be taking care of that baby alone anyway. I seriously hate doug soooooooo much. Seb needs to start standing up for himself, I know he THINKS that he loves Doug, but that kind of love isn’t healthy. If you feel like you need someone who hits you then you’re scared not in love. I could sort of understand at the beginning because it’s infatuation but now it’s getting ridiculous, have some balls man!!

    • sErindeppity says:

      He’s just too far in, refusing to see the truth. His identity is with Doug and Seb isn’t going to be able to sever that bond very easily. Doug’s pulled him in too much. 😦

  8. Doug’s missing? Maybe he’s dead? 😀

    Sigh, that’s too much to hope for, isn’t it :/

  9. LMcarrotcake says:

    Yes! I’m so happy that Seb is finally questioning Doug’s “love”.
    Now it’s time for Seb to make a break for it and run away for happily ever after with Hal. ❤

  10. Crazy chic says:

    Well if Doug is a criminal then yes by all means call the police… hehe… I’m sure Orion would hate seeing Seb’s bruises and do something extra violent against Doug… Muhahaha

    But…. *sighs* poor Seb, I have a feeling Doug cheated again and that was what Seb discovered. Seb is a toy and a possession to Doug… 😦

    One of my fears is getting into this situation so I keep getting goosebumps, lol.

    • sErindeppity says:

      Lol he may be a criminal 😉 After all, he was seen skulking about in that alley… 😉
      I can’t say what happened… but you may be right. Well, you probably are right since Doug just cheats all the time–though that might not be what Sebastian found.
      Doug is evil. 😦 and Seb IS just a toy and possession to him.

  11. shelllegacy says:

    Seb needs to run away with Duncan before that jerkface Doug comes back. He’s probably cheating, and I HATE to see Seb all bruised, it makes me sad. Sawyer is a cutie, he’s got Kellen’s hair and Luna’s/Vi’s eyes <3. If there's one thing I really don't like about the Doug situation, it's that Seb hardly ever sees his family, and Hal, too. He needs to get out of there- I think things will just keep getting worse from here if he sticks with Doug. I don't think we've seen how bad he truly is, yet. Seb's such a good parent to Duncan, it's totally horrible that Doug HITS him when their son is crying- shouldn't he be the one up at night, too?

    • sErindeppity says:

      I went into CAS and tried out Vi and Claude and all four of their kids had blonde hair.
      Sebastian is just being put in a little cage, so Doug can make him his little 1950s housewife, well worse than that really. o_o
      You’re right about the worst is yet to come. x]
      Doug should be helping out with Duncan but he’s just a meaniejerk that he won’t. 😦

  12. Oh goodness no, it’s getting worse! He has to get out now before it screws up their kids!
    Brilliantly written though 😉

  13. nestea7 says:

    I’m so mad he’s going to have another baby with Doug. He needs to grab Duncan and get the hell out of that house.

  14. Rozelliee says:

    The pregnant thing= 😦
    But I’m happy that Seb is going to be happier soon. 🙂 He really deserves it.

  15. thelizzy1990 says:

    I know I shouldn’t be getting my hopes up (again) that Doug is dead, but I can’t help myself. I don’t those babies anywhere near him.

    Speaking of which, Duncan isn’t Seb’s, is he? I thought he was at first, because I couldn’t come up with a way for Doug to say he ‘accidentally’ got pregnant with another guy’s kid. But that’s gotta be what Seb was researching. =(

    • sErindeppity says:

      I’m sorry for constantly getting your hopes up that he died x3
      I won’t say for sure who Duncan’s parents are. But it will be said one way or another in chapter 26 😉

  16. mewmewmentor says:

    Okay, I’m wondering what Seb found out on the computer. My first thought was that Duncan isn’t really Sebastian’s. But Seb wouldn’t really be able to tell yet, Sim babies look pretty much the same. Other ideas…erm…that Seb finally figured out Doug isn’t working at City Hall even though Hal told him ages ago? Um…he found out Doug never lived in Sunset Valley and was stalking him when they first met?…Yeah, I still think the first idea is the most likely.

    Also, I LOVE ALL THE BABIES, THEY SO CUTE, AND I LOVE THE NAME MELODY! ❤

  17. I hope Doug never comes back. But I guess that isn’t the case. I wonder what he found on the computer. I have a bad feeling that the kid isn’t his, and that he’s cheating again. Maybe he found out he doesn’t work at city hall.

    I hope he doesn’t lose the baby

  18. zefiewings says:

    Hmmm…where is Doug

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