I felt I should explain a bit about what happened. Some uncomfortable language/situations ahead.
Some of you may not have been reading ‘Falling Colors’ but it was about a sixteen year old girl from a very poor home, whose father drank and gambled into debt. He agreed to have his daughter marry the loan shark’s brother to settle said debts. So the daughter married this man with the determination to be a good wife.
However, as with most arranged marriages, it was consummated. The husband was obviously unhappy with doing the deed but he did. And several of the readers took this to be rape. I’m not really saying it wasn’t and I am not saying it was right because it wasn’t, But some were ready to burn the husband at the stake. They twisted him into this evil, terrible, horrible character and that’s what started me into depression. I questioned myself and my writing skills… because if I had done a good job then why would so many see him as a Doug McIntyre-esque monster? I tried to explain he was essentially a victim too for his own reasons–as he was pretty much forced into it as well. But they wouldn’t have it and continued their outrage, twisting the character and story into something so awful that I felt so incredibly sick and depressed.
It pretty much made me realize I was a crap writer. I was in a downward spiral questioning myself and my skills and why I even bothered writing. And then I got messages saying how it was a mistake for me to ever even attempt to write it, that I mishandled it, that I shouldn’t have written about such a situation… and that pretty much tipped me over into the dark place. I’m not blaming anyone who twisted the husband into this villain or who messaged me about things. I am not doing that and if it seems like I have then I apologize.
I’m not here pointing fingers I just want to explain to people what happened and why I am on hiatus right now. Because pretty much right now I am in a quandary over whether I should even continue writing. I’ve tried to but every time I do all I can think of is how I’m not good or skilled enough. Oh, I will continue Danevbies for sure don’t worry about that. I’ll do my best to make the rest of the stories as okay as I can make them.
But enough about that. The message that made me the most confused was that I ‘skipped over’ any fallout and how there was no resolution which was, from what I understood of the person messaging me, a ‘bad decision’?
Which is the main reason I am writing this. Because I wanted to announce that no! Things in my story might not be resolved right away. If something bad happens there might not be any resolution for another chapter or two or five or heck–like in Falling Colors (or how it would have been), the resolution and coming to grips might happen very slowly over the course of the story.
If you like instant gratification with immediate resolution please don’t read my stories.
This isn’t ‘Full House’. Things aren’t going to be fixed in half an hour or less. I’m not trying to sound mean but really if that’s the story you’re looking for then just… avoid mine.
Now, I don’t know how dark or delicate I will be going with future stories. Right now I don’t want to (which is difficult for me since I prefer writing the dark stuff but I’m not talented at that so I have noooo clue what to do now…!) but with Zaid’s story… I need to finish it and it will be very dark and sad and probably not handled very well so please just bear with me. I’ll do my best..
Maybe I will eventually have the courage to try something different and maybe even by the time we get to the next gen I will be ready to try but right now I just… don’t really know how to write so… I dunno, it will be rough waters for a while I guess.
I apologize for this, and apologize for any offense I’ve given.
Also I hope this is published. I’ve not used the ‘publish at a future time’ feature on wordpress but I wanted this to come out on Friday so… hoping it goes correctly… and if it does then I hope all y’all have a great weekend ^_^ and if not uhhh well I guess I’ll post it sometime later and you won’t see this.
If it does come out on Friday then I am still not doing well, and I don’t expect to be anywhere near ‘okay’ by Friday. I’m really sorry–I’m trying my best but it’s hard for me right now. I’m sorry