The Night Before Christmas – A Chance and Specter production

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Twas the night before Christmas… and all through the house

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Not a creature was stirring except for an extremely nosy person who couldn’t wait to open his gifts–

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“Hey! I can’t help it. Can’t we just open one gift? On Christmas Eve? People do that, you know. Some people open all their gifts on Christmas Eve.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

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“Because then eventually you’d get impatient and want to open them on Christmas Eve’s Eve and so on and so forth. Be patient.”

“Aww… ooookay.”

“Now, where was I?”

“Being mean to me.”

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The stockings were hung by the chimney with care–

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“Those look like socks to me.”

“They’re stockings.”

“Says who?”

“Says me now let me continue.”

In hopes that Saint Nicholas soon would be there.

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The children were nestled all snug in their beds

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While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.

“…. why’d you stop?”

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“I figured you’d make some sort of comment about sugarplums.”

“They sound tasty. Continue.”

And Chance in his kerchief and I in my cap–

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“Wait, I’m only wearing a kerchief?”

“Uh, well, I don’t–“

“Sounds kinky. But you know, I know how this story goes and you’re too grouchy to be the dad. You can wear nothing but the kerchief *giggle*.”

“Chance this isn’t–“

“And me in my cap.”

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“Chance–“

“Continue.”

And Specter in his kerchief and Chance in his cap

Had just settled down for a long winter’s nap.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter

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Chance sprang from the bed to see what’s the matter and probably fell flat on his face.

“SPECTER!”

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“That’s what you get for interrupting me every other second.”

Away to the window he flew like flash–

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“Without tripping.”

“Without tripping.”

Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.

“Now I’m stripping?”

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“No, it’s like opening a window. The sash is–it’s opening a window, the sash of the window. Not the sash of a robe–“

“I was wondering, since apparently I’m naked except for a hat.”

“You have long johns on, now can I–“

“This is not child appropriate.”

The moon on the breast–

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“SEE?”

The moon on the breast of–

“Some woman is walking around topless with moon shining on her boobs.”

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THEMOONONTHEBREASTOFTHENEWFALLENSNOW

Gave the luster of midday to objects below.

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When what to Chance’s wondering eyes did appear

But a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

“Nine.”

“What?”

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“Nine. Rudolph.”

“There’s not–“

Rudolph, Specter.”

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But a miniature sleigh and nine tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver so lively and quick

Chance knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick–

“He looks like you.”

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“What?”

“Saint Nick looks like you, with a big bushy beard and all. He looks like you in my head so he’s not very old. Redo that bit. Make him all muscle-y and sexy.”

“Chance…”

“With a handsome young driver. Go on, he’s you so…”

With a handsome young driver so lively and quick

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Chance knew in a moment it must be Saint Nick.

More rapid than eagles his coursers they came

And he whistled and shouted and called them by name.

‘Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer and Vixen

On Comet, on Cupid, on Donder and Blitzen.

To–‘

“A-hem.”

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“Hmm?”

“You know what.”

‘On Comet, on Cupid, on Donder and Blitzen and Rudolph.

To the top of the porch to the top of the wall!

Now dash away dash away dash away all!’

As dry–

“This part is boring get to the fun part.”

“The what?”

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“The fun part. Where the sexy Saint Nick comes down the chimney.”

“The story–“

“Please?”

“Sigh…”

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As Chance drew in his head and was turning around

Down the chimney Saint Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur–

“No.”

“Chance can you please let met finish this damn story?!”

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“Told you that you were too grouchy to be the dad. He’s dressed like this *scribbles something down* here.”

“I AM NOT READING THIS!”

“Please?”

“Damn it, Chance.”

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He was dressed in some pants, his muscled chest all revealed

As his muscles gleamed in the soft glow from the Christmas lights, to Chance he appealed

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back

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And in addition he had quite a big–

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“I AM NOT READING THIS!”

“Aw come on… it’s all true.”

“This is smut, I am not reading this. Give me the book back, I’m reading the actual words.”

“But… but…”

No, Chance.”

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“Can’t you at least mix some of you in with Santa?”

His eyes how they narrowed, his glare how stare-y

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His teeth creaked as he grit them, his rage very scary.

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His unhappy little mouth was drawn out in a frown.

And his beard was more majestic than anything else in the entire town

“Not like that…”

“Too bad.”

“Your beard is majestic though.”

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“Thank you.”

The stump of a pipe–

“Ew, nooooo! Just get rid of that line.”

He had a broad face and a–

“Remember to make it you, Specter. Here, read at least this part of what I wrote? It’s really good and not very smutty I promise.”

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He had a broad face and really tight abs

That rippled as he moved he was really quite fab?

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“Um, I’m not the best of poet…”

He was ripped and half-naked, a right sexy young elf

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And Chance swooned when he saw him in spite of himself.

“Wait, you’re married to me in this story. I’m asleep in bed with a kerchief.”

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“Yeah but you’re Saint Nick too.”

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head

Soon gave Chance to know he had nothing to dread

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work

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And filled all the stockings then turned with a jerk

And laying his hand on Chance’s–

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“You said this wasn’t smutty.”

“Hehehe oops.”

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“I’m going with the original, deal with it.”

And laying his finger aside of his nose

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh to his team gave a whistle

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle

But Chance heard him exclaim as he drove out of sight…

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Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night.

~*~

Merry Christmas everyone! And Happy Holidays everyone, whichever holiday you celebrate! And if you don’t celebrate any holiday then have a good rest of 2014 ❤

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About sErindeppity

Hi there! I'm known as sErindeppity. I love to read (huzzah!) and love to write (double huzzah!). I have tons of books in my room ahaha. I love video games and hate hot weather. :p
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21 Responses to The Night Before Christmas – A Chance and Specter production

  1. angelblue007 says:

    Oh my gosh I love it!! This is perfect. I am here for this. I am always here for this. Chanceter are the bestest. I actually had to stop myself laughing full out loud because it’s late and i might wake someone. Aha.

  2. zefiewings says:

    Aww oh chance. Your kids would be so embarrassed!
    >.<
    Why are they just so darn cute.

    • sErindeppity says:

      They would be!! I can see Chance trying to tell the story and the kids totally freaking out and Zaid begging him to stop, and Chance looking all confused while Specter sits there with his head in his hands.
      I dunno, but Chanceter is definitely my OTP!

  3. Chanceter!<3 They're so Adorable! Happy Holidays!

  4. DragonPyromania says:

    I love Chance XD

  5. AliciaRain says:

    I had to share this with my friends and family… Even my husband thought it was funny.

  6. Glory says:

    This was great…soooo funny I laughed out loud many times, no one here but my four footed 7 pound doggies and they already know how weird I am…so I continued to laugh…this was wonderful, you must have had a blast writing this and posting the pics too. Have a very Merry Christmas Erin…thanks so much for the “happy”.

    • sErindeppity says:

      I did have a total blast writing it, and enjoyed getting the pictures though it was difficult deciding which ones to get. I wanted to get some for every line! haha. Hope you had a great Christmas too dear, so sorry this reply is a month late!

  7. plumbawesim says:

    Awww so cute and funny! Just what I needed this holiday season 🙂

  8. mischiefthekitten says:

    N’aww, how perfect and how christmassy! Merry Christmas to you, too, Erin ^^ ‘Rudolph, Specter.’ Hehe 😀

  9. Hilarious! We read this to our son every year on Christmas Eve. Now I’m going to be giggling every time! Merry Christmas to you!

  10. Suzanna says:

    Love it. I hope you had a great Christmas. Have a Happy New year!

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